Reflections of a FFB

Yesterday I celebrated my 45th birthday.

For some reason I have been thinking about turning 45 for awhile. We tend to focus on the “tees”, like when we turn for”tee”, fif”tee”, six”tee” or seven”tee”. (Get real – 30 isn’t really that traumatic)

But for me 45 holds some real significance.

A lot has happened in the last 10 years.

When I was 35 I had two kids, Tim and Jeff. One a sophomore in high school, the other in eighth grade. Those two boys are now both married, one living in Vermont and the other in North Carolina. 10 years later, Nancy and I have had added four more; Derek, Andrew, Karalynn, and Amy. Derek was with us only 11 months when he died of S.I.D.S.,  Drew is 8, KJ is 7 and the precocious Amy is 4 going on forty. How things have changed!

When I was 35 I had a different career. I was a structural draftsman sitting behind a computer all day, and while I was very good at what I did I didn’t love it, and I was pretty miserable to be around at times. That company treated me well, but ultimately I knew it was not what I wanted to do with the rest of my life.

When I was 35 I was miserable in other areas of my life as well. I stopped weighing myself when I hit 260 on the scale. I couldn’t shop for pants in the “regular” stores any more as my waistline passed 46 inches. There is a picture I still have of a church picnic where I won a couple ribbons for a pie baking contest. What you don’t see is the humiliation from that same picnic when I tried to play some relay games and couldn’t begin to keep up. That was the first time I remember feeling “old”, but in reality age had little to do with it. I had high blood pressure, my blood sugar was crazy, I lived on Pepto-Bismol, and was a picture perfect couch potato.

I had a beautiful wife, 2 great kids, good friends. But I was well on my way to an early grave, and while in the back of my mind I knew it, I was too apathetic to do anything about it.

But then…

In March 2002 life changed forever for Nancy and me. I still remember we were pretty shocked to discover that we were going to be parents again, 14 years after the last time. We used to joke with our friends that we were going to be empty-nesters by the time we were forty; we had to adjust that time line by oh, about 20 years or so. God has a funny way of letting you know He is in control sometimes.

Nancy was 5 months pregnant with Andrew when Derek, our “surprise” baby that had brought much renewed joy into our lives, died at age 11 months. What started out as an ordinary Monday morning started bringing the brevity and uncertainty of life into my daily thoughts.

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We live with choices every day.

Some are little, and some are big. But each choice we make is significant, and determines the course our life is going to take.

There are things in life we cannot control, as we were recently reminded with the 10th anniversary of 9/11.

It’s not what “happens” to you that determines the course of your life, but the conscious choice you make in response to it.

Nancy and I had to make a choice. Let the circumstances of our life tear us apart, or bring us closer together. The daily choice to drag ourselves out of bed and move on was not easy, but our faith, family and friends brought us and continue to bring us through.

So why am I telling you all of this?

Because those circumstances changed my life forever in other ways as well.

I really understood for the first time that life does not go on forever. That I was given the gift of life, and I was in the process of taking that precious jewel and flushing it down the drain with my lifestyle.

I was making bad choices, and it showed. When you are 35 years old and can’t walk up the stairs to go to bed without getting winded, there is something seriously wrong. Keep up with the kids? I figured if I didn’t do something about it I wouldn’t be around for the kids for very long.

And that’s how my journey started to where we are now.

With a choice.

A choice to be better today than I was yesterday.

Make that choice every day, and pretty soon you get somewhere pretty big.

Many of you have heard and read my personal journey and how Get Fit NH got started, so I am not going to make this note any longer than it already is.

Just know that I am grateful for all I have and all I have experienced, both good and bad.

These past 10 years have been a pretty wild ride.

My weight has been under control and under 200 pounds for going on 8 years.

I have girls in the house – now that’s different!

I have a wife that has stood by me through all the ups and downs who I fall in love with more and more every day.

I get to do what I love to do every day in a career that I am passionate about. I have the privilege of helping our clients accomplish things they never dreamed they could do.

Helping others make good choices that get them where they want to go.

I’d say turning 45 is pretty cool.

Thank-you for being a part of my life.

Coach Dean